Christmas Wishes For Seniors
Written by Brian B

Funny Christmas Quotes For Seniors

Are you looking for some funny Christmas quotes this holiday season to send to a loved one? Here are 30 humorous quotes that perfectly sum up this special time of year.

Funny Christmas Quotes

  1. “One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney
  2. “Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth, sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
  3. “That’s what Christmas memories are made from. They’re not planned, they’re not scheduled, nobody puts them in their blackberry; they just happen.” – Deck The Halls (2006)
  4. “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
  5. “Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.” – Stephen John Fry
  6. “Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.’ – Wendy Cope
  7. “For a couple hours out of the whole year, we are the people we always hoped we would be.” – Bill Murray
  8. “You’re a lot like some of my Christmas tree ornaments: bright, colorful, and a little bit cracked.” – Unknown
  9. “A Christmas tree, the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.” – Jay Leno
  10. “Christmas: the only time of the year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.” – Anonymous
  11. “It’s not what’s under the Christmas tree that matters; it’s who is around it.” – Anonymous
  12. “May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love and your life with laughter.” – Anon
  13. “Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.” – Unknown
  14. “Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White
  15. “Even before Christmas has said hello, it’s saying ‘buy buy.'” – Robert Paul
  16. “Christmas is the magical time of year… I just watch all my money magically disappear.” – Unknown
  17. “If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.” – Unknown
  18. “Once again we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” – Dave Barry
  19. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
  20. “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.” – Victor Borge
  21. “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar
  22. “You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” – Robert Paul
  23. “At Christmas tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” – Robert Godden
  24. “My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.” – Melanie White
  25. “Three phases that sum up Christmas are: peace on earth, goodwill to men, and batteries not included.” – Unknown
  26. “Oh for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.” – Olivia Haigh Williams
  27. “Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.” – Frank McKinney Hubbard
  28. “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown
  29. “Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
  30. “Love is what is in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” – Anon

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